What to Do if You Hate Your Engagement Ring

You’ve been dreaming of this moment forever, the man you love is about to propose! You’re trying to hold back tears as he pulls out the perfect little box, but … hang on a minute … what’s that?!

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What do you do when you hate your engagement ring? Etiquette expert Anna Musson from The Good Manners Company says in the moment, it’s all about being positive.

“Gasp, allow yourself to well up if you feel the emotion building, and control your facial expressions to show delight, joy, and surprise; but not disappointment or worse, dismay.”

There’s no need to lie and say you love the ring, but you do need to keep up appearances as he’s no doubt been thinking about how much you will love this piece of jewellery for a while.

Image via: KL Diamonds

What to say to him

“Once the excitement has settled, there will be a moment when he might say: ‘if you don’t love it, we can change it’, and that’s your chance to gently bring up your thoughts,” says Musson.

Suggest you are surprised they chose this style as it’s not something you would have initially chosen for yourself. This should open up a discussion where you add you don’t want to offend your fiancé, and hopefully he will insist you have it remodelled or changed.

What to never say to him

“Is this the ring I wear until we find a proper one?”
“Is there a diamond in there?”
“Oh my gosh, is this the ring you chose? It’s hideous!”

According to Musson, anything that suggests you don’t love the ring should be avoided. “It’s a big moment for them, and if you are saying yes, it’s crucial you make them feel you are saying yes to marrying them, not: yes, but only if there’s a bigger diamond!”

What to say to others

Avoid embarrassment for your partner by telling those that notice the change ring was too big for your finger. You can mention when you had it re-sized the jeweller suggested a different setting for the stone, which you both really liked. Another good option to go with says Musson is something like: ‘Peter has great taste, and I never told him I always wanted a bezel setting like his mother/your mother/Kim Kardashian, so he very graciously let me change it, he is so sweet and I just love it.’