Winter is coming and that means wedding season is pretty much over for the next few months. Sure, it’s great, there aren’t as many parties to stress over anymore, but if you’re still hung-up over your cousin’s best friend’s wedding from March, then look, we need to talk.
For those of you that think you’re ready to take the big commitment step and have been trying to drop the hints to your man, or even if he’s already popped the big question and you’ve got a lovely, shiny rock sitting on your finger, this one is for you.
Here are all the questions you need to ask before getting engaged.
1. Is He Really The One?
Sure, you love him, and he’s an amazing guy, but is he The One? Is he the only person you could ever see yourself with for the rest of your life? He might rock your world for the time being, but make sure that he can do that for the next 70+ years, and that you want it to be him rocking your world from now until you’ve got metal in your hips.
2. Do You Want The Same Things?
Is he a dog person while you prefer your felines? Is that going to be an issue in the long-term? You both need to sit down and be certain that you want the same things in life, or at least know that you can compromise where needed. Talk about how many kids you both want, what your career goals are, and where you see yourselves living in the future. Literally just talk, talk, talk.
3. How Are You With Each Other’s Family?
You never marry just the guy/girl. You marry the whole family and you need to know that you’ll be able to deal with that. If your future mother-in-law is an absolute maniac, can your partner see it and help you deal with it appropriately? Does your family love your partner, or will this marriage cause a rift that will see you lose the most important people in your life? Psychologist Andrea Bonior says that while you don’t need to be head-over-heels in love with them, your relationship needs to be pretty comfortable.
4. Are There Current Issues You Need To Overcome?
If you’ve got a few problems that have been bubbling underneath the surface, it wouldn’t do you well to leave them there before you get hitched. Deal with your problems now or dig out any secrets you’re hiding. It might be a struggle at first, but it’d save you in the future.
5. How Do You See Yourselves In 10 Years?
Sit down, close your eyes, and picture where you’ll be in 10 years time. Are you happy with what you see? Can you see your partner with you? You need to be prepared for where this relationship is going in the future and be excited about what it holds.
6. What Are Your Reasons For Getting Married?
The wedding blues are really horrid, but they shouldn’t be an excuse for you to be making any rash decisions. If you’re going into this because you’re the only un-wed woman amongst your girlfriends, or you really want to start having kids, like, now, well then honey, check yourself. Marriage isn’t, and shouldn’t be, a rash decision because you’re feeling lonely. Really think this through and make sure you’re in this for the right reasons.
7. Are You Ready?
If you’ve gone down this list and know you’re still good to go, then here is one more question. Are you ready? This is a lifetime commitment that you need to be 110% sure of, so really, be sure. If you’re screaming a wild YES to this, then girl, what are you waiting for? Marriage is waiting.
Written by Hanan Merheb
Cover image by @therealcoconut